Fountain Of Youth
Aging. We are all going to do it no matter who we are, where we live, or what we believe. Yet I have found there is much intense fear and shame around the most human thing we can possibly do. What exactly is “getting older”? Chronologically and physical changes, are objective markers. Yet I have noticed the biggest mental distinction between someone who is “old” or “young” has to do with how they measure the present against the past. They start their sentences with, “it used to be like…” or “in my day….” More often than not, the present can’t hold a candle to a romanticized illusion of the past, and the statement takes on a woeful frustrated tone. People of any numerical age can do this, and anyone can choose not to.
Well, I choose not to ~ for I believe in the freedom of embracing change and focusing on the NOW. I am very aware of the past, of people I have known, choices I have made, and how decisions and experiences have led me to where I am today. But I don’t use those events as a ruler against the now. The past is helpful to me only if it offers perspectives and insights of how I can enjoy in the present. By fully comprehending that there is no one moment better than another. I am free to live my forty-six year old life with novelty, interest, and investigative curiosity. Nevertheless, I find aging in a clearer context rather than summing it up with a number ~
I am aware of all the physical changes happening in my body, not to mention my endurance level, capacity, and reactions to all environmental factors. I remember this quote from Samuel Ullman when I celebrated my 40th birthday, “Nobody grows by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” Nowadays, I find humor in naming few of my wrinkles around my eyes; they are Innie, Minnie, and Moe, etc... And probably in the next few years, they will multiply and dominate not only my face, but my neck, chest, etc. And no matter how much face cream or moisturizers I use, my own wrinkle population will breed exponentially.
No doubt, I have aches and pains too, not only from the overall physical demands and injuries from my years of service in the military, but also from the day to day regenerating physical activities related to my normal living. But I know that’s part of aging. I also remember somewhere hearing that if all the people in a room could lay their aches and pains or problems out on the table and then choose among those laying there, most folks would pick up the ones they laid down. Chances are they’ve learned how to live with the problems they have, and wouldn't want to have to learn to live with new ones. Remember the adage; the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence? If you cross over to the other side and look back, the grass is greener on the side you came from.
I remember writing about change and mentioning the phrase “Age is only a number” few years ago when I turned 40. I’ve received numerous comments on some of my pictures about having a secret of staying young. Well, there is no secret at all. I just learned that the trick of being “young” at any chronological age is to embrace and accept changes, and conversely, to be surrounded by the people who loves me. Moreover, in every acceptance, I found gratitude for the ability to live without having to resist them. I just turned 46 last week (Aug 14 to be exact), and these past few days, hours, and minutes, life has shown me that I will continue to have a much easier and happier time if I dance with impending changes once again instead of trying to step on its toes.
So as I begin another chapter in my life, changes are coming at me on a more direct line of fire. Am I dodging them or putting on a protective gear to avoid them? No. I am not doing that, rather I am accepting them wholeheartedly. Change itself gives us the opportunity to age not only gracefully, but happily. In every decisions, we are presented with the chance to become more confident, more at peace with ourselves, to be happy, and to feel blessed and content. I also realized that change itself is “not bad” and it is “not wrong.” Am I worried about the criticisms of others and concern for the need of approval from everyone? No! I am strong enough and wise enough to understand that my choices are my decisions. They don’t know my whole story and my plight. They don’t know my pains, struggles, and discontent, therefore, they don't have the right to judge me. My story and my past belong to me! It goes along with my mantra for this year, which is "I NO LONGER" by Meryl Streep...(posted in my blog). I only have the time and patience for those who truly respect me, understand me, and love me unconditionally.
And on my birthday, as I looked at my birthday cake, surrounded by my Lovey, children (that includes my dogs Chanel and Diamond), listening to the Birthday song, and slowly closing my eyes, I did not make any wish or wishes this year…. I simply prayed:
“Heavenly Father, a year has passed and as I do every day, I commit my life to You, under Your Kingship and wing. Guide, forgive and empower me this year to make it a victorious fulfilling and awesome year, all to Your glory! Thank you for my life ordained and set out by You! Thank you for choosing me – to come to the earth and be an instrument. Thank you for the GRACE, SALVATION, MERCY, LOVE and all the other many things you bless me with everyday. I realize that health, strength, sanity, ability, relationships, experiences and trials are there to bless me and keep me close to you. Thank you for the privilege to Praise and Worship You! I love you!”
Goodbye 45 - H E L L O 46
Happy Birthday to me!
