My Monica Isabella, my first born, my only princess turns 20 years old today. I look at her and I can’t believe how much she has changed. The baby girl that took my breath away and stole my heart forever is independent, courageous, and determined in pursuing her dreams. My love for her is immeasurable. Every year I try to quantify it, in some way, but it always fall short because how can you express the true meaning of “to the moon and back” plus “infinity and beyond” with all that I am or will ever be?
Last night, while she was at work, I sat in her room and looked through her baby pictures, christening and first communion gowns, art works, middle school plays memorabilias, talent show awards, cheerleading uniforms, soccer awards, football and basketball uniforms and gears, prom dresses, and high school adventures ~ hmmm….my heart ached. Time truly went by so swiftly. Then repeatedly, I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, I could still smell that perfect baby smell. And no matter how many times I looked around the room, her current photographs, her things ~ the remnants of her baby face was still the only thing I saw…..
To my Kweng-Kweng,
You came into my world and have been my happiness and strength ever since. On this 20th anniversary of your birth, I wish you a lifetime of love, the same wholehearted, all in love you give to others. To this day, your smiles still soothe me, your tears tear me down and your sadness destroys me. Your laughter is contagious and infectious. I love the way you go after everything in life with such flare and optimism. I hope that you always allow your wonderful self to shine. Remember; do not let others tell you how or who to be. Do not let others let you waiver from your own path that God has carefully designed for you. Above all, do not let anyone make you feel anything other than amazing. You are intelligent, sincere, caring, generous, funny, creative, and oh so kind. Know that you have been blessed with everything you need in life to succeed and to find happiness. This world is an amazing, yet a challenging place. It is yours to savor, navigate, learn, and enjoy. Always live each day with a sense of gratitude and God will honor your heart.
I love that you stick up for what you believe in and for the underdog. I love your stubbornness and your follow through. I love that your heart compels you to get involved when you see a homeless person, sick person or a sad child. I love you for being exactly who you are and I would never change a thing about you. You are perfect in every way.
You have shadowed me. You have mimicked me. You have, and still do, sit on my lap and played with my hair. You have dressed me up. You have made me sit down and snuggle with you, watching and crying over love stories and drama movies. You have always wanted to know, in maddening detail, what I thought about everything. But, mostly, you have watched. And you have seen me as no one has seen me. You read my face and my body as if it were a map to your future. And you listen. You hear every self-directed negative muttering, every frustrated sigh. You’ve noticed my tired voice, happy voice, sad voice, and angry voice. Whenever you noticed I was crying, even though I made no noise, from the other room, simply by the sound of my breathing, you knew and you were there to comfort me with your warmest hugs and silence. For all those times, thank you for simply being my strength and direction.
Now, as you continue to venture into your new world with independence, always remember that I am here, for today and always, to hold your hand, to wipe away your tears and yes, to kick anyone’s behind if need be. Even though you drive me crazy with your sense of independence, particularly when it’s in direct opposition to mine ~ inside, I am so proud of you for standing your ground.
May you continue to be completely and totally you. May you know how deeply and truly you are loved...by me, by your family, and most of all, by God. May you dream big dreams, and have the courage to follow them.
So today, I celebrate you and all that you have become. But most especially, I celebrate the day that I met one of the most amazing person I have ever known, YOU. I wish you a lifetime of love and acceptance of yourself, I want you to see and love yourself the way I see you; perfect, just the way you are.
Happiest 20th Birthday my sweet Kweng-Kweng, my forever baby girl, my precious gift from God.
I love you deeply ❤
Mom
